I have to forgive. I have to let the trespasses against me go, move on with my own life, forgive my Dad and my Brother for what they have done to me, and most of all, learn to love them with a Christlike love.
That is very easy to say but I am here to tell you that it is not very easy to do. At this point in time I literally hate both of them. I hate what they have done to me, what they continue to do to me, the way I feel around them, and how little I feel they care for me.
I could go on forever but when all is said and done it comes down to a decision I have made. This decision is based on my desire to get on with life as my hatred for them affects me each and every day and has for the last 6 years. I am 34 years old and I have now spent almost 1/6 of my life going out of my way to get answers to questions that I am probably not going to get. Seeking an explanations of why and how come knowing it is in vain.
This blog is to allow me to put my feelings down, to keep a journal, and to hopefully help others that find themselves in the same situation as me. Even though I feel I have been wronged by my father and brother, the attitude I have carried for years is much more harmful to myself, my wife, and my 3 beautiful kids. That is why I have started this blog.
This is the video that got it started.
